10 Things To Talk About On Your First Dates
“First date nervousness is a real thing, Gohar. Trust me. I am 26 years old, and I still jump to Google for help — especially when the conversation goes dry.”
At first, I thought she was joking, but a little more discussion made it clear.
My girlfriend had made an excellent point. First dates can be scary, and they can be pretty messy. It can be quite the challenge to make your first date a positive and memorable experience, instead of a terrible first impression.
In all honesty, it happens more often than we would like to admit. It does not have to go so terribly, though — especially if you are better prepared.
This article will make you a first-date expert, whether you are a seasoned expert or new to the dating game. The tips in this article will help you understand how to start a conversation with your partner and make your first date memorable and exciting.
First impressions count a lot so if you are on the lookout for your better half, use these seven tips to perfect your A-game first.
1. Break the ice with a confession
So, you meet up, and there is that cute nervousness. Yeah, we have all felt that.
It is cute to let that feeling linger for a while, but don’t let it go on for too long. The journey from cute to awkward can go by real quick, and it is essential to break the ice with pleasant conversation.
While this can be done with the suggestion of a game/activity, I suggest a more direct and honest approach. Start with a confession instead.
Confess how you feel and tell them if you are nervous. Since it is your first meeting, it is totally okay to do so. By confiding in your partner, you encourage them to feel honest and comfortable in your presence.
These confessions will set a relaxed mood for the rest of the date, and it might even make for a great story — in the future. Mention how excited you are to see them and how you were looking forward to getting together for the date.
Nervousness aside, you have to make sure the romantic spark persists.
2. Compliment your date
If you are on a date with this person and you are making an effort to have a great date, there must be some things you like about them. Be honest and complimentary of the traits you find attractive in your partner.
Compliments boost the mood on most occasions, but they are especially important on dates. Don’t play around the bush too long.
As much as I love courting, it is just not the Victorian era any longer. It is time to be more transparent and direct. Your partner will appreciate your confidence, and it helps to make the mood more romantic and playful.
This does not mean that you go overboard with the compliments. Try to be subtle still. You might think they have charming manners or kind eyes, and it is excellent to make such compliments.
A first date is rarely the right place to make compliments that are sexual in nature.
Focus on showing your date that you care and want to be present because it is time spent with them. Suppose compliments do not fit the conversation quickly. In that case, it is best to include them using a date activity, the 9th topic on the list.
Try to feel special on your special day and make sure your date feels equally special.
3. Discuss career goals
As independent adults, it is essential to have an idea of your future partner’s career goals. It is crucial to have an idea of what your partner’s professional values and ambitions are and how they plan to grow in the coming years.
You can start by discussing their average workday and whether they enjoy their work. I like asking timeline-based questions.
Here are a few you can try on your own first date:
a. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
b. Have you always wanted to be in this industry?
c. What is your dream goal for your career in the next 5 years?
It is essential to make sure you don’t sound like an interviewer. Plug the questions into the conversation without making your date feel uncomfortable. The last thing you want is for your date to feel like they are in an interrogation.
4. Discuss your ideal day
Learning a person’s daily routine is like reading their palm, only a lot more effective.
Ask your date what their daily routine is like and how they spend their mornings. It is best to start this topic by discussing how you start your day. Remember that it is crucial for your date to feel comfortable discussing so much on a first date. It is sometimes better to wait until you are in for a few dates before asking more personal questions.
Nevertheless, this is an excellent discussion topic. It makes for an enriching and fun experience. You might be able to learn something productive or fun from each other’s routines.
Go beyond the morning routines, and ask each other about the most significant parts of your day. Talk about the things you look forward to and the things that make you feel alive.
Discuss your working days and what your favourite weekend activities look like. This leads to improved ideas for future dates. If they enjoy watching movies, suggest a movie night. If they are into walking or nature, you can go on a picnic together!
When you make an effort to get to know your date, don’t feel scared. Interest, attention and care are the three ingredients for lasting romance.
5. Talk about your hobbies and interests
A lot of what defines a person comes from their different interests and hobbies, especially those they pursue outside of academic and career requirements.
This topic is sure to get your date excited. You might learn many new things about each other as you unravel your personal interests. You can also ask them to show you something they have learned to do with their hobby/interest.
It could be a song they like practising on or a magic trick they have learned. One of my ex-girlfriends was an expert at rolling pencils and sticks between her fingers. She was a complete pro, and I was in awe of her skills. I loved how she did it, and I often asked her to show me. Once, I even tried to learn the trick — albeit without much success.
By encouraging your date to make a small demonstration of their skill to you, you make them feel appreciated. It is always lovely to be noticed and feel supported by our admirers.
6. Have the travel discussion
If you are anything of a travel junkie like me and you meet another one just like yourself, it can be challenging to avoid these questions.
What does your ideal trip look like? Do you have a dream destination?
Travelling as a couple, whether a long walk or a trip abroad, will be the most soulful memory of your time together. The first date, however, is not about your first trip abroad.
It is about finding out your partner’s travel preferences before drawing up the mind maps and dreams of where you two might end up!
If it turns out your date is not that much into travelling, change the topic to something slightly more serious. You can try discussing career goals or even suggest a date activity.
Don’t stress about carrying a conversation topic that your partner is not equally interested in.
7. Find out what life means to your date
So, you have finally gotten comfortable and are done stealing little glances at each other. Great!
Now, it is time to go a little deeper. You have to understand this person who could potentially go on to be a big part of your life. The only question is how you can go about doing this.
There are multiple activities and questions to get to know a person better. But this section is for my favourite question.
What is their philosophy in life?
This can open up a healthy debate where you get to know your date’s personality. By adding to the conversation and sharing your own philosophy about life, you can combine similar elements and understand how your personal philosophies align.
Don’t worry about the topic being too deep. If it is the kind of question you feel comfortable discussing, go for it. It shows that you have depth, character and personality — three fundamental traits in the ideal partner.
8. Talk about your childhood experiences
If you are like me, you have tons of fun memories of your childhood experiences. It is a pity how we don’t discuss these beautiful moments more often.
Use your first date to change this. Ask your partner about their best childhood memories and the hometown they grew up in. This is possibly the most sensitive and exciting question for a first date.
If you are from different cultures or towns, talk about the games, foods, and hobbies you enjoyed as a child. This is the perfect time to tell that one childhood story we always repeat, and it never gets old.
These discussions will help you celebrate and discuss your individuality and differences as a couple.
9. Try a fun date activity
Okay, now it is time for the magic trick of the guide and a personal favourite. Trust me when I tell you — it works like a charm!
Sometimes, you will be too nervous to plug in topics, and if you keep trying and the ice doesn’t break fast enough, it could make your date a landmine of awkward silences.
Fortunately, there is a perfect fit for a situation like this- — date activities.
While there are multiple date activities to choose from, both for seasoned couples and new ones, my personal favourite is — the question game.
The question game is a very simple game with just two rules that you have to remember:
1. Each partner must ask one question per round.
2. The questions must always be interesting.
While this game might seem relatively simple at first glance, its authentic charm lies in its simplicity.
Think of it this way- it is not complicated to explain on a first date, and the rules allow anything and everything. This makes it the perfect place to plug in the questions that might not fit in a basic conversation.
If you feel like trying something riskier, “truth and dare” never goes out of fashion!
10. Discuss the relationship deal-breakers
Last but not least, it is essential to discuss what is not okay.
The timing of this discussion will vary from couple to couple and individual to individual. I suggest waiting until you have advanced to at least the 3rd date before you break the ice on this one.
Whenever you choose to do it, understand that this is a discussion you need to have if you are thinking of having a future together. Make sure that your date feels comfortable discussing opinions with you.
Likewise, you must be clear and specific on what you want and what you will NOT tolerate.
Healthy relationships start with healthy communication. Add your touch of honesty as soon as you possibly can.
CONCLUSION
First dates can be scary. Let’s establish that opinion for a fact and put it away.
However, this fact should never come in your way of having fun on your dates. Dating, at all its stages, is about becoming a new person and enjoying the experience of life.
Be more confident about the beautiful person you are and learn about the person you are dating. That’s the beauty of life’s journey- understanding yourself and the people you love.
So, it doesn’t matter how scared you are. Whatever your reasons are for the jitters, remember this — it is just a date, not the end of the world.
So folks, try to have a great time, grow in romance, and wink if you can!
